Hi I’m your typical melee and I’d like to let you know a few things before we get started.

28 May

It’s no secret I think most DD jobs are played by idiots. veri_of_remora summed up what I think goes through a standard DD’s brain in a party so well I just had to post it. This was wrote after a party where he was the Red Mage :P made me laugh and cry…

‘Hi I’m your typical melee and I’d like to let you know a few things before we get started:

  • I will always pull one more monster after you tell me you have no more MP.
  • It will always be your fault that we died to a link, not mine for pulling one.
  • If I’m a MNK I will try my damnedest to come /WAR, even though I’ll be an MP sink.
  • I will always tell you how to do your job as a mage.
  • My death is always due to the healer’s incompetence, the tank’s incompetence or both.
  • I don’t believe in ‘holding back’ for the sake of party dynamics.
  • I can’t see what’s wrong with a party that’s 5 melee and 1 rdm.
  • I have a macro on hand: “Haste Yes,please.” and I will spam it even though you’re in the middle of casting it on me.
  • I don’t believe spells have a casting time.
  • I don’t believe spells have a recast time.
  • I don’t believe spells cost MP.
  • I don’t believe spells can be resisted.
  • I will always run out of range while you’re casting and I will stop one step after I’m out of range and wait for you to chase me down.
  • I don’t believe souleater, last resort or warcry produces any hate when activated.
  • Unlock and turn away from the mob??? What is this… 2006?
  • Doing a shit-ton of dmg > the 800+ MP you had to use spamming Cure IV on me.
  • My epeen is very fragile.
  • If I am in a PT with someone the same job as I am, we will check each others’ gear and vie for supremacy much like two male baboons in the wild trying to see whose ass is bigger and redder.
  • If one of us just so happens to die during this display, please see comment number 5.
  • I’m going to always demand the spell Shell/Shellra be cast on me even though all dmg we’re going to take will be purely physical.
  • If I can’t rip hate away from a tank, it doesn’t mean the tank is good, it means I’m not spamming enough.
  • When I am put to sleep, I’m going to type “zzz” repeatedly until you cure me, I should always be the first to be awoken, not the tank, not the other mages that can cure, ME.
  • I can engage a mob and walk away, return and hit a ws macro, then go back to what I was doing.
  • Most likely, I will have been seeking for a day and a half and I won’t care if you’re eating 1M gil/hour to tank, you will take this 2000exp/hour and you will like it.

In short, I’ll do alot of unpredictable shit at random times with no warning which will both frustrate and confuse you. But trust in me and my epeen, for we know all.’

Man, makes me angry just reading that list! lol

Red Mage Rules: Bare with the melees, compared to us mages they’re not very smart . Try to remember this before you get too angry with the melees and inform them where to shove it.

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5 Responses to “Hi I’m your typical melee and I’d like to let you know a few things before we get started.”

  1. Ennayram May 28, 2008 at 6:24 pm #

    lol win ^__^b

  2. weissthesamurai May 28, 2008 at 6:34 pm #

    And I am not one of those idiotic meleeing guys.. sure i’m A melee guy… but I am not idiotic like ur list says :P

  3. Reiokyu May 28, 2008 at 7:41 pm #

    Well well, the truth be out about how mages view us melee. No wonder I can almost never find a spot in a merit party, the bashing seems monk orientated lol.

    Not sure about your server, but the rare case that I am actually hasted is like a freaking field day. ^_^; That and I am usually forgotten about around the two handers for being slept while they are blaring their sirens about being slept for two seconds…and never woken, typing one zzz about ten seconds after or no. The same problem ensues on paladin, save for the staunch apparent belief that the shield wielding tank requires no cures…no status heals, no nothing as early as the dunes and we carry an infinite amount of hi potions at all times on us. @_@;

    All in all though it still gave me a very good laugh. Since I never get in a party really I am usually one of a few targets for the ire and pure hatred that some Red Mages and such seem to harbor towards DD’s on my friends list while Im off quietly farming, campaigning, or soloing EP-T’s to try to get my next merit point since I rarely bother to put up my seek flag anymore. They pretty much covered just about every point on the list there so far hehe.

    Forgot comments about not believing that they have to use food because their gear rocks that much, or being able to eat meat no matter how much their gear sucks (lol nation ring at level 75), especially in cases regarding mamool ja, and how it is somehow the mages and supports fault for their buffs sucking while they want to “Skill up their sword/club.”

    Sorry for the rant lol.

  4. Ophenix May 28, 2008 at 9:41 pm #

    Some people are idiots ^^ Thats how it is.
    I remember a party with a Pld, Sam, Thf, Rdm, Brd, Blu. And at some point the Brd had a baby crisis and went AFK in a hurry.
    The Rdm was left w/o his Mage Ballad and he was the only one that could heal.
    The Pld was a real ass about getting his slow removed and his haste up, at some point they had the following conversations:
    Pld “Haste Can I have it?”
    Rdm “Slow, you can have this”

    Pld “I love slow, don’t you guys?
    Rdm “Yes, its wonderful, I’ll make sure you keep it <3”

    Its not just the DDs, sometimes people just dramatic and annoying about things :P

  5. millionsknives June 20, 2008 at 9:35 am #

    the list speaks truth! no matter what any DDs may say!

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